Volume 29                                                                                                                           July 05, 2007

The Wisdom of a Three Year Old 

I wanted to share an email we received that I’m sure will be one of our all time favorites. 

This is from a mom who wanted to read “How We Love”, but did not have the money to

purchase the book.  Several days after we corresponded she got a gift card from a friend

to a Christian Bookstore in her area.  She was excited about this provision and purchased

the book.  This is what she wrote:

I thought you might enjoy this anecdote...I purchased "How We Love" and am most of the way through it.

The concepts presented are very insightful indeed.

Anyway, my 3 year old, Christopher, picked up the book and looked through it for pictures.

He found the on p. 272-273 demonstrating Touch and Nurture.

He was very drawn to them and immediately, he wanted to practice holding that way.

First he wanted me to hold him.

Then he wanted to hold me.

And, we talked about how nice it felt to be held like that.

It was a very interesting experience having my 3 year old "lead" me in this exercise.

He tells me that he wants to practice this again.

After that, Christopher told me he was going to "read" the book to me.

I said ok as he flipped through the pages.

He stopped and said, "here are some questions that Mommy can answer".

I looked at the page--it was the list of "listener questions" on page 257.

I agreed that yes, these were questions I could answer.

Then he flipped some more pages and stopped again.

This time on page 290.

As I looked down and saw the prayer printed there, I heard Christopher saying "Dear God, thank you for the things we learn...."

I must say here, that Christopher does not read or write yet....we're still working to conquer the ABC's verbally and have only begun a little to try to recognize them in written form.

His comments were truly out of the blue....but so surprising.  

V. B.

I LOVE this story. 

Now, what can WE learn? 

A three year old, just by looking at the pictures of holding, gets the idea that this is a nice thing that would feel good. 

He is only three so he has no hang ups about holding time. 

He asks his mom to do this with him.

He wants to be held and he wants to take a turn as a holder. 

He wants to receive and give. 

This kid is on the right track.

I have not met many adults that found holding time that easy. 

We have received a lot of emails from people who have read the book and expressed how much it has helped. 

When we have the opportunity to ask if they have tried the holding, we often find a bit of
resistance. 

Now let me say up front, we realize this is more of a problem for singles. 

How does as single person find a way to do this? 

Admittedly, this can be a problem unless you are seriously dating someone. 

To all of you singles, we appreciate the dilemma this puts you in and the longing it may create. 

For you we pray you keep this idea in your heart and realize the importance of holding time and non sexual touch in any future relationships. 

What about some of you married folks?  

Have you tried a holding time with your spouse? 

How did it go? 

If you are reluctant, be bold like this three year old and ask your partner take turns holding one another. 

Just try the positions we show in the book on page 272 and 273. 

Talk about how it feels. 

Can you relax? 

Turn to the feeling word list in the back and choose a few feelings you experience. 

Then contact us at: http://www.howwelove.com/contact/contactpage.aspx  (simply click on the blue text, you will be directed to our contact page on www.howwelove.com) and please let us know about your experience. 

This month we are going to focus on holding time. 

I’ll answer any question that might be helpful to all our readers. 

Love and blessings,
Milan and Kay

Check out these recommended books:

Healing is a Choice By Stephen Arterburn / Thomas Nelson Do you want to get well? If you've been waiting for God to heal you - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually - you must choose to let your hurt go. In Healing Is a Choice, you are offered ten choices crucial for receiving healing. Take hold of your future and begin the process to wholeness today!

Boundaries in Marriage By Dr. Henry Cloud / Zondervan Corp. Sure, kids need boundaries...but husbands and wives? Cloud and Townsend say "Absolutely!" They'll show you that respecting your spouse's personal "territory" can actually strengthen your relationship. Discover how to keep your marriage safe from intruders such as idols, affairs, other people...even well-meaning parents.

How People Grow: What the Bible Reveals about Personal Growth By Dr. Henry Cloud / Zondervan How People Grow reveals why all growth is spiritual growth and how you can grow in ways you never thought possible. Unpacking the practical and passionate theology that forms the backbone of their counseling, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend shatter popular misconceptions about how God operates to reveal how growth really happens.

Mere Christianity/The Screwtape Letters Collection By C.S. Lewis / Zondervan/harpersanfrancisco Need a faith-building gift for somebody with impeccable taste? You can't go wrong with these enduring classics by the beloved author of The Chronicles of Narnia! Two slipcased hardcovers.

To get your own copy of our book and the accompanying workbook click on the following links:

How We Love: A Revolutionary Approach to Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan & Kay Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you identify negative responses learned in childhood that sabotage your relationships, creating invisible barriers to love. you'll find practical solutions and groundbreaking principles that equip you to identify the love styles disrupting your marriage, recognize the core pattersn in your relationship, develop a specific plan for change, enhance your sexual intimacy and more, to create a deeper, richer marriage.

How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Every adult bears an "imprint of intimacy"-an inner sense of how much emtional vulnerability they can risk based on childhood experiences. those past lessons shape the behaviors, beliefs and expectations of all our current reltionships, especially marriage. This powerful companion workbook-perfect for use on your own or in a group setting-will help you apply the principles from How We Love and break free of the harmful imprints of the past. You'll find insightful questions to help you and your spouse pinpoint barriers to intimacy, efffective techniques to kickstart the process of lasting change and more.

SPREAD THE WORD:

If you enjoyed our newsletter, would you please forward it to your e-mail list or send a memo out encouraging them to sign up for our weekly newsletters?  Thanks.

NEXT WEEK:

Kay discusses more about Holding Time.

Many of you have asked "Milan and Kay, when are you going to be giving a seminar in MY AREA???"

While we would love to have the opportunity to meet each and every one of you and for you to learn some valuable relationship skills at our seminars....it is physically IMPOSSIBLE for us to give seminars in every city in the U.S. - (not to mention the rest of the universe).

So...for those people who would be interested in seeing exactly what happens at one of our seminars, and learn the skills that you need to improve your valuable relationships...we are working on the next best thing to being there in person with us.

Thats right!!! We will be coming out with a video of one of our recent seminars!!

We apologize for the delay in getting you the information on how you can have the opportunity to actually attend one of our "How We Love" seminars - without having to be there in person. We will be putting our seminar on DVD and it will be available to you soon.

Look for the information on how you can learn from us and have a postive impact on your valuable relationships from the comfort of your own home in our next newsletter!!

We will soon have the opportunity to offer you an incredible mp3 audio entitled - "How We Love...More Fully " an inspirational and memorable series of two sermons by Milan which were recorded live. Milan gives you specific and easily followed steps to accomplish what God is asking all of us to do - Love More Fully. Look for further information in the next newsletter!!!

Love,
Milan and Kay

NOW YOU CAN WATCH MILAN AND KAY IN ACTION!!

Check out our website: www.howwelove.com and click the

"Video - Milan and Kay Talk About How We Love" link.

You will be taken to a page where you can view a video about our book and another video of one of our Television appearances.

Please be patient - the video about our book takes less than a minute to load, the TV interview takes approximately 2 minutes or more to load.

WANT TO BE PART OF OUR NEXT BOOK?

If you have already taken our survey - THANK YOU!! You people are GREAT!!!

We are getting some VERY good and useful information that we will use to help us write our book!!!

We hope that you enjoyed our previously unpublished document The Value of Virginity, Monogamy and Sexual Fidelity.

If you have not yet taken our survey please read on!!

Milan and I are currently doing research for our next book “How We Love – Sexually”.

We need some help – we are conducting a survey on “How We Love – Sexually”.

Dont worry....your name will NOT be emblazoned in print for thousands of readers to know about what you do in the bedroom!!

We would love for you to take our survey “How We Love – Sexually” and be assured that your name will never be used.  ALL survey questionnaires are ANONYMOUS. That’s right your name is never used – in fact you don’t give us your name at all.

Also there is no way of tracking who answered the survey.

You see we want completely honest answers to some personal questions. By guaranteeing that you will remain completely anonymous we can expect honesty in return.

The survey is very short and can be completed in less than 5 minutes.

After you answer the survey you will be helping not only us but others who suffer from personal issues. These issues and more will be addressed in our upcoming book “How We Love – Sexually”.

You will also receive advance results from the survey so that you can benefit from the knowledge that you are NOT alone in How We Love - Sexually.

As a thank you for helping us we have an unpublished document that we would like to give you, entitled The Value of Virginity, Monogamy and Sexual Fidelity.

After you fill out the survey - simply press the "Click When Finished " button at the end of the questions and you will be directed to a page where you will be able to download The Value of Virginity, Monogamy and Sexual Fidelity.

To help us and receive your gift please click here: How We Love Sexually - Survey

(Make sure that you answer ALL of the questions - if you do not see the "Thank You" page after clicking the button

review your questions - you have probably not answered one or more)

Thanks

Milan and Kay

We will be appearing at the following locations:

Upcoming Workshops and Seminars:

Thursday Night New Life Ministries “Relationships Reframed”
Washington, DC, McLean Bible Church, VA (Milan and Kay and Steve Arterburn)
Info: www.newlife.com or 1 800 NEW LIFE.
July 26, 2007

New Life Cruise, Canada and New England.
Info: www.newlife.com or 1 800 NEW LIFE.
Sept. 22-29, 2007
 
Saturday Night New Life Ministries “Relationships Reframed”
 Boston, Mass., location to be announced (Milan and Kay and Steve Arterburn).
Info: www.newlife.com or 1 800 NEW LIFE.
Sept. 29, 2007
 

RADIO APPEARANCES (Subject to change):

New Life Ministries Radio, Los Angeles area, KKLA 99.5 FM, 2 PM daily Mon – Fri. 
Check www.newlife.com for nationwide listing of radio stations and times in your area as well as daily hosts.

Go to www.relationship180.com for details.

If this newsletter has helped you, perhaps it can also help others. Please let your friends, family and others know that they too can get the help they need by signing up for this free newsletter at: www.howwelove.com

Understanding your relationships is probably one of the MOST important tasks that you can do to improve your life.

To help you understand your relationships we have written the book :  

How We Love: A Revolutionary Approach to Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan & Kay Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you identify negative responses learned in childhood that sabotage your relationships, creating invisible barriers to love. you'll find practical solutions and groundbreaking principles that equip you to identify the love styles disrupting your marriage, recognize the core pattersn in your relationship, develop a specific plan for change, enhance your sexual intimacy and more, to create a deeper, richer marriage.

How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Every adult bears an "imprint of intimacy"-an inner sense of how much emtional vulnerability they can risk based on childhood experiences. those past lessons shape the behaviors, beliefs and expectations of all our current reltionships, especially marriage. This powerful companion workbook-perfect for use on your own or in a group setting-will help you apply the principles from How We Love and break free of the harmful imprints of the past. You'll find insightful questions to help you and your spouse pinpoint barriers to intimacy, efffective techniques to kickstart the process of lasting change and more.

Thanks to all of you for your support.