Volume 31 July 19, 2007
Men and Holding Time
This month we are talking about holding time.
We had some interesting responses from our readers.
Readers talked about how holding time is hard for men, especially
when they are the receivers.
Some men learned from their homes growing up that it is wrong to show emotions or ask for help.
In addition, a lot of us women give men a double message.
We want our husbands (or the men we are dating) to be close, vulnerable and willing to share their inner self.
At the same time, we also want our men to be strong leaders, providers and care takers…… in other words, “don’t be weak.”
Let’s think about Jesus for a moment.
He is strong and vulnerable.
Jesus healed, provided, shared his thoughts and feelings
and was definitely a leader.
Even though he knew before hand that it was His purpose to come into the world and die for us on the cross, as a human, he struggled when the time came.
In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus asked for his three closest disciples to watch and pray with him.
He told his friends he was distressed and in agony.
He lay prostrate with his face to the ground.
He wept.
He groaned with loud crying and tears.
Now we know his friends fell asleep, but even so, the God of the universe showed his inner turmoil and asked for help,
It’s truly an amazing if you contemplate what happened in that Garden.
Men need encouragement that it is OK to be human.
It’s OK to be like Jesus and ask for support.
It’s OK to groan and cry out when life is overwhelming.
Women tell your man that they can be both strong and weak.
Helpers and receivers.
Tell your man you want to nurture him.
Tell him you want to make a safe place for him to be human.
Ask him to lay his head in your lap and pray for him.
Let me know how it goes.
I really want your feedback.
Until then…. God Bless and keep growing.
Blessings, Kay
Check out these recommended books:
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Healing is a Choice By Stephen Arterburn / Thomas Nelson Do you want to get well? If you've been waiting for God to heal you - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually - you must choose to let your hurt go. In Healing Is a Choice, you are offered ten choices crucial for receiving healing. Take hold of your future and begin the process to wholeness today! |
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Boundaries in Marriage By Dr. Henry Cloud / Zondervan Corp. Sure, kids need boundaries...but husbands and wives? Cloud and Townsend say "Absolutely!" They'll show you that respecting your spouse's personal "territory" can actually strengthen your relationship. Discover how to keep your marriage safe from intruders such as idols, affairs, other people...even well-meaning parents. |
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How People Grow: What the Bible Reveals about Personal Growth By Dr. Henry Cloud / Zondervan How People Grow reveals why all growth is spiritual growth and how you can grow in ways you never thought possible. Unpacking the practical and passionate theology that forms the backbone of their counseling, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend shatter popular misconceptions about how God operates to reveal how growth really happens. |
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Mere Christianity/The Screwtape Letters Collection By C.S. Lewis / Zondervan/harpersanfrancisco Need a faith-building gift for somebody with impeccable taste? You can't go wrong with these enduring classics by the beloved author of The Chronicles of Narnia! Two slipcased hardcovers. |
To get your own copy of our book and the accompanying workbook click on the following links:
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How We Love: A Revolutionary Approach to Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan & Kay Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you identify negative responses learned in childhood that sabotage your relationships, creating invisible barriers to love. you'll find practical solutions and groundbreaking principles that equip you to identify the love styles disrupting your marriage, recognize the core pattersn in your relationship, develop a specific plan for change, enhance your sexual intimacy and more, to create a deeper, richer marriage. |
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How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Every adult bears an "imprint of intimacy"-an inner sense of how much emtional vulnerability they can risk based on childhood experiences. those past lessons shape the behaviors, beliefs and expectations of all our current reltionships, especially marriage. This powerful companion workbook-perfect for use on your own or in a group setting-will help you apply the principles from How We Love and break free of the harmful imprints of the past. You'll find insightful questions to help you and your spouse pinpoint barriers to intimacy, efffective techniques to kickstart the process of lasting change and more. |
SPREAD THE WORD:
If you enjoyed our newsletter, would you please forward it to your e-mail list or send a memo out encouraging them to sign up for our weekly newsletters? Thanks.
NEXT WEEK:
Next week we will talk about each of the love styles and why holding is difficult for each style.
Many of you have asked "Milan and Kay, when are you going to be giving a seminar in MY AREA???"
While we would love to have the opportunity to meet each and every one of you and for you to learn some valuable relationship skills at our seminars....it is physically IMPOSSIBLE for us to give seminars in every city in the U.S. - (not to mention the rest of the universe).
So...for those people who would be interested in seeing exactly what happens at one of our seminars, and learn the skills that you need to improve your valuable relationships...we are working on the next best thing to being there in person with us.
Thats right!!! We will be coming out with a video of one of our recent seminars!!
We apologize for the delay in getting you the information on how you can have the opportunity to actually attend one of our "How We Love" seminars - without having to be there in person. We will be putting our seminar on DVD and it will be available to you soon.
Look for the information on how you can learn from us and have a postive impact on your valuable relationships from the comfort of your own home in our next newsletter!!
We will soon have the opportunity to offer you an incredible mp3 audio entitled - "How We Love...More Fully " an inspirational and memorable series of two sermons by Milan which were recorded live. Milan gives you specific and easily followed steps to accomplish what God is asking all of us to do - Love More Fully. Look for further information in the next newsletter!!!
Love,
Milan and Kay
NOW YOU CAN WATCH MILAN AND KAY IN ACTION!!
Check out our website: www.howwelove.com and click the
"Video - Milan and Kay Talk About How We Love" link.
You will be taken to a page where you can view a video about our book and another video of one of our Television appearances.
Please be patient - the video about our book takes less than a minute to load, the TV interview takes approximately 2 minutes or more to load.
WANT TO BE PART OF OUR NEXT BOOK?
If you have already taken our survey - THANK YOU!! You people are GREAT!!!
We are getting some VERY good and useful information that we will use to help us write our book!!!
We hope that you enjoyed our previously unpublished document The Value of Virginity, Monogamy and Sexual Fidelity.
If you have not yet taken our survey please read on!!
Milan and I are currently doing research for our next book “How We Love – Sexually”.
We need some help – we are conducting a survey on “How We Love – Sexually”.
Dont worry....your name will NOT be emblazoned in print for thousands of readers to know about what you do in the bedroom!!
We would love for you to take our survey “How We Love – Sexually” and be assured that your name will never be used. ALL survey questionnaires are ANONYMOUS. That’s right your name is never used – in fact you don’t give us your name at all.
Also there is no way of tracking who answered the survey.
You see we want completely honest answers to some personal questions. By guaranteeing that you will remain completely anonymous we can expect honesty in return.
The survey is very short and can be completed in less than 5 minutes.
After you answer the survey you will be helping not only us but others who suffer from personal issues. These issues and more will be addressed in our upcoming book “How We Love – Sexually”.
You will also receive advance results from the survey so that you can benefit from the knowledge that you are NOT alone in How We Love - Sexually.
As a thank you for helping us we have an unpublished document that we would like to give you, entitled The Value of Virginity, Monogamy and Sexual Fidelity.
After you fill out the survey - simply press the "Click When Finished " button at the end of the questions and you will be directed to a page where you will be able to download The Value of Virginity, Monogamy and Sexual Fidelity.
To help us and receive your gift please click here: How We Love Sexually - Survey
(Make sure that you answer ALL of the questions - if you do not see the "Thank You" page after clicking the button
review your questions - you have probably not answered one or more)
Thanks
Milan and Kay
We will be appearing at the following locations:
Upcoming Workshops and Seminars:
SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS:
July 13-15, 2007 New Life Ministries, Healing Is A Choice, Orange County, CA. Couples Group Counselors, (Milan and Kay) Info: www.newlife.com or 1-800-NEW-LIFE.
September 7-8, 2007
How We Love Marriage Workshop, Parker, CO
Southeast Christian Church
9650 Jordan Road
Parker, CP 80134
Info: www.sechristian.org or (303)841-9292
Sept. 22-29, 2007 New Life Cruise, Canada and New England. Info: www.newlife.com or 1 800 NEW LIFE.
Sept. 29, 2007 Saturday Night New Life Ministries “Radio Rally”, Boston, MA. Location to be announced (New Life Radio Team). Info: www.newlife.com or 1 800 NEW LIFE.
January 18-20, 2008
Marriage Retreat for Abundant Life Christian Fellowship
Location: Mount Hermon Christian Conference Center, Mount Hermon, CA
Info:
January 25-27, 2008
Workshop, Ventura, CA (Topic TBA)
Bible Fellowship Church
6950 Ralston Street
Ventura, CA 93003
Info: www.bfconline.info or (805) 656-7766
RADIO APPEARANCES (Subject to change):
New Life Ministries Radio, Los Angeles area, KKLA 99.5 FM, 2 PM daily Mon – Fri. Check www.newlife.com for nationwide listing of radio stations and times in your area as well as daily hosts.
7/12
7/13
7/16
7/18
7/20
7/24
8/1
8/2
8/6
8/9
New Life Ministries Radio, Los Angeles area, KKLA 99.5 FM, 2 PM daily Mon – Fri.
Check www.newlife.com for nationwide listing of radio stations and times in your area as well as daily hosts.
Go to www.relationship180.com for details.
If this newsletter has helped you, perhaps it can also help others. Please let your friends, family and others know that they too can get the help they need by signing up for this free newsletter at: www.howwelove.com
Understanding your relationships is probably one of the MOST important tasks that you can do to improve your life.
To help you understand your relationships we have written the book :
|
How We Love: A Revolutionary Approach to Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan & Kay Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you identify negative responses learned in childhood that sabotage your relationships, creating invisible barriers to love. you'll find practical solutions and groundbreaking principles that equip you to identify the love styles disrupting your marriage, recognize the core pattersn in your relationship, develop a specific plan for change, enhance your sexual intimacy and more, to create a deeper, richer marriage. |
|
How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Every adult bears an "imprint of intimacy"-an inner sense of how much emtional vulnerability they can risk based on childhood experiences. those past lessons shape the behaviors, beliefs and expectations of all our current reltionships, especially marriage. This powerful companion workbook-perfect for use on your own or in a group setting-will help you apply the principles from How We Love and break free of the harmful imprints of the past. You'll find insightful questions to help you and your spouse pinpoint barriers to intimacy, efffective techniques to kickstart the process of lasting change and more. |
Thanks to all of you for your support.