Volume 43                                                                                                                          October 11, 2007

Understanding Temperaments:  Thinkers and Feelers. 

Now we are going to look at two different ways of making decisions.  Thinkers feel and

feelers think.  We just lean one way or the other when it comes to making decisions. 

Some of us decide with the head, some with the heart.  Look at the lists below and decide

which is more like you. 

THINKER  [T]: (About 60% of population)  

• Values logic above sentiment.  Decides with the head.
• Usually impersonal, being more interested in things than in human relationships and sees things as an onlooker from outside the situation.
• If forced to choose between truthfulness and tactfulness, will usually be truthful.  Concerned with truth, justice and the American Way.
• Stronger in executive ability than in social arts.
• Are likely to question the conclusion of others on principle, believing them probably wrong.
• Pride themselves on truth and objectivity.
• More business like and task oriented.
• Are usually able to organize facts and ideas into logical sequence that states the subject, makes necessary points, comes to a conclusion and stops there without repetition.
• Contributes to society by intellectual criticism of its habits, customs and beliefs by exploring the wrongs, solutions to problems with support of science and research.
• More focused on what is fair.
• Think about feelings.
• Enjoy proving a point.

FEELER [F]: (About 40% of population)

• Values sentiment above logic.  Decides with the heart.
• Usually personal, being more interested in people than in things and sees things as a participant from within a situation.
• If forced to choose between tactfulness and truthfulness, they will usually be tactful.  Concerned with relationships and harmony.
• Stronger in social arts than in executive ability.
• Are likely to agree with others,  thinking as other people think, believing them probably right.
• May minimize truth to maintain harmony. Naturally friendly.  More appreciative
• Usually find it hard to express what they have to say in an orderly sequence and  may therefore ramble and repeat themselves with more detail than a thinker wants or thinks necessary.
• Contributes to society by their loyal support of good works and movements, for the community good.
• More empathetic and focused on what others feel.
• Feels feelings.
• Enjoy promoting harmony. 

How do you decide?  More with the head or heart?  One is not good and the other bad. 

It’s just a different way of assessing what decision should be made.  If we are a very

strong thinker or feeler, it is a good idea to try and achieve some balance by learning to

consider the other side.  For example in parenting, and extreme thinker can be to rigid at

times, while a feeler can be too soft.  Kids need a little of each.  They need boundaries

and limits.  They also need sympathy and compassion.  If you and your spouse are

opposites here, you need to learn to value one another’s perspective and look for middle

ground.    

Sometimes feelers are not honest because it may hurt someone’s feelings.  They need to

learn to speak the truth in love.  At times, thinkers can be harsh in delivering the “truth”. 

This verse in Ehp 4: 25, Speak the truth in love is for both thinkers and feelers. 

Milan and Kay

Here is the link to Amazon.com to order the book "Please Understand Me"!!!

Please Understand Me: Character and Temperament Types 

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NEXT WEEK:
Next week we will talk about Judgemental and Perceptive temperaments and you can determine if you fit into one of those categories. 

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Milan and Kay

We will be appearing at the following locations:

Upcoming Workshops and Seminars:

SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS:

January 18-20, 2008
Marriage Retreat for Abundant Life Christian Fellowship
Location: Mount Hermon Christian Conference Center, Mount Hermon, CA
Info:

January 25-27, 2008
Workshop, Ventura, CA (Topic TBA)
Bible Fellowship Church
6950 Ralston Street
Ventura, CA 93003
Info: www.bfconline.info or (805) 656-7766

RADIO APPEARANCES (Subject to change):

New Life Ministries Radio, Los Angeles area, KKLA 99.5 FM, 2 PM daily Mon – Fri.  Check www.newlife.com for nationwide listing of radio stations and times in your area as well as daily hosts.

New Life Ministries Radio, Los Angeles area, KKLA 99.5 FM, 2 PM daily Mon – Fri. 
Check www.newlife.com for nationwide listing of radio stations and times in your area as well as daily hosts.

Go to www.relationship180.com for details.

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Understanding your relationships is probably one of the MOST important tasks that you can do to improve your life.

To help you understand your relationships we have written the book :  

How We Love: A Revolutionary Approach to Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan & Kay Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you identify negative responses learned in childhood that sabotage your relationships, creating invisible barriers to love. you'll find practical solutions and groundbreaking principles that equip you to identify the love styles disrupting your marriage, recognize the core pattersn in your relationship, develop a specific plan for change, enhance your sexual intimacy and more, to create a deeper, richer marriage.

How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Every adult bears an "imprint of intimacy"-an inner sense of how much emtional vulnerability they can risk based on childhood experiences. those past lessons shape the behaviors, beliefs and expectations of all our current reltionships, especially marriage. This powerful companion workbook-perfect for use on your own or in a group setting-will help you apply the principles from How We Love and break free of the harmful imprints of the past. You'll find insightful questions to help you and your spouse pinpoint barriers to intimacy, efffective techniques to kickstart the process of lasting change and more.

Thanks to all of you for your support.