Volume 56 January 10, 2008
Parenting and the Love Styles
God’s Amazing Design for Bonding
Our fourth grandchild was born two weeks ago.
Here are the stats since we know you all are dying to know.
Girl: Name, Holland Heather Kay Yerkovich (wow) she will be 10 before she can write it.
Weight: 7 pounds 10 oz
Birthday: Dec. 28, 2007 at 1:19 pm. Nice of her not to get us up in the
middle of the night for her appearance.
Its fun to be a part of a newborns life again, and especially with what we know now about bonding and attachment.
I told my son and daughter in law,
“I have one piece of advice. Keep her with you for the first two hours and don’t’ let the hospital do all their procedures until later. She will be fully awake and alert for 1-2 hours after she is born. She won’t be alert for that length of time for weeks.”
They took my advice and it was fun to see their amazement at how alert she was, how her eyes followed voices and indeed she was awake for two hours.
Later she got her bath, eye drops, vitamin K shot and all the other hospital procedures.
After they brought Holland home I told them another interesting fact.
If you have watched a newborn, you know they make some funny faces as they drift off to sleep.
They roll their eyes, grin, and grimace making all sorts of adorable faces.
Researchers have discovered that for the first three months of their lives babies have a different sleep cycle.
They begin their sleep in a dreaming state which is why they make all those endearing expressions that are so entertaining.
At about three to four months of age a babies sleep cycle shifts into an adult pattern where dreaming is at a later stage of sleep.
The cute faces disappear, but guess what….now the baby smiles and responds to those around and is capable of social responses.
God’s design provides a new mom with a preview of the baby’s social faces before the baby is capable of responding.
We talk in our book about how important these first years of life are in forming a core of trust.
Babies don’t think.
They just feel and they mostly feel what is in their bodies.
Warm, cold, hungry, full, wet, dry, rocking, touching, stroking: these all are sensations felt in the body.
Babies are just one big bundle of feelings and needs.
In the next month we are going to talk about each of the love styles and their strengths and weakness as parents.
You can take this in on two levels.
If you are a parent, then obviously, you will be asking yourself how to grow as a parent.
You can also evaluate your own upbringing and try and understand the influence your parents have had on your current behavior and feelings.
Remember, this is not a blame game.
We know parents did the best they could.
Our goal is to understand ourselves.
Love and blessings,
Milan & Kay
NEXT WEEK:
Next week we will talk about the Avoider as a parent.
SPREAD THE WORD:
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How We Love More Fully - NOW AVAILABLE IN CD FORMAT Now you can experience this inspiring sermon on CD with Milan's study notes printed for your convenience - we will ship it to you or someone you think could benefit from this incredible audio.
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Do you need to be motivated to love more fully? Would you like to be inspired to take some steps to improve your relationships? I’d love to share two sermons with you called How to Love More Fully. I’ve gotten some positive feedback from the people who heard these seven important points and I want to inspire you to deepen your relationships. I’ll include my study notes so you can follow along. Use the following link to learn more: Use This Link To Find Out How to Love More Fully Blessings, Milan |
Would You Like To Keep Your Family Safe Online?
We want to encourage all our friends to keep the computer a safe place for kids and teens and spouses.
As counselors we are alarmed at the rising use of pornography with the easy availability of on-line sites.
We think BSafe is a good way to minimize the risks of the internet..
Right now is a really good time to look into how BSafe can help you keep your loved ones safe, because they are offering a 10 day offer to evaulate the product.
Please use the following link to see how BSafe can help you save your family from unsafe sites on the internet.
WANT TO BE PART OF OUR NEXT BOOK?
To help us and receive your gift please use this link: How We Love Sexually - Survey
(Make sure that you answer ALL of the questions - if you do not see the "Thank You" page after clicking the button
review your questions - you have probably not answered one or more)
Thanks
Milan and Kay
SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS:
January 18-20, 2008
Marriage Retreat for Abundant Life Christian Fellowship
Location: Mount Hermon Christian Conference Center, Mount Hermon, CA
January 25-27, 2008
Workshop, Ventura, CA (Topic TBA)
Bible Fellowship Church
6950 Ralston Street
Ventura, CA 93003
Info: www.bfconline.info or (805) 656-7766
Also preaching on Sat the 26th at 6:00 pm service, Sun 27th at 9:00 am and 10:30 am services
Feb 6, 2008
Harvest TV show
South Bend, IN
Topic: How We Love
10:00 am CST
Feb 8 - 9, 2008
How We Love workshop
Times: Fri Feb 8th 7:00 – 10:00 pm and Sat Feb 9th 9:00 – 3:00pm
Faith Church
5910 Price Road
Milford, OH 45150
513-831-3770
Feb 13, 2008
Crossline MOPS group speaker, 9:45 am
Lake Hills Church
2331 Moulton Parkway
Laguna Hills, CA 92653
949-837-7729
February 23, 2008
How We Love workshop 9:00 – 4:30
Sonoma Ave Church of Christ
2200 Sonoma Ave
Santa Rosa, CA 95405
(707) 537-9899
April 18 – 20, 2008
How We Love workshop
Times: Fri: 7:00 – 9:00 PM; Sat: 9:00 – 4:00; and Sun 9:00 – 10:30
Tree of Life, Lord’s Harvest Christian Church
4140 Peralta Blvd.
Fremont, CA 94536
(510) 739-6133
Also preaching on Sunday the 20th at 10:30
April 26, 2008
Childbirth Educators Conference
Anaheim, CA
Additional details forthcoming
May 23, 2008
How We Love Marriage Retreat
Seattle / Tacoma area
Sponsored by Lighthouse Christian Center
Additional details forthcoming
RADIO APPEARANCES (Subject to change): New Life Ministries Radio, Los Angeles area, KKLA 99.5 FM, 2 PM daily Mon – Fri. Check www.newlife.com for nationwide listing of radio stations and times in your area as well as daily hosts.
Dec 21, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 31 and Jan 11
Go to www.relationship180.com for details.
If this newsletter has helped you, perhaps it can also help others. Please let your friends, family and others know that they too can get the help they need by signing up for this newsletter at: www.howwelove.com
Understanding your relationships is probably one of the MOST important tasks that you can do to improve your life.
To help you understand your relationships we have written the book :
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How We Love: A Revolutionary Approach to Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan & Kay Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you identify negative responses learned in childhood that sabotage your relationships, creating invisible barriers to love. you'll find practical solutions and groundbreaking principles that equip you to identify the love styles disrupting your marriage, recognize the core pattersn in your relationship, develop a specific plan for change, enhance your sexual intimacy and more, to create a deeper, richer marriage. |
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How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Every adult bears an "imprint of intimacy"-an inner sense of how much emtional vulnerability they can risk based on childhood experiences. those past lessons shape the behaviors, beliefs and expectations of all our current reltionships, especially marriage. This powerful companion workbook-perfect for use on your own or in a group setting-will help you apply the principles from How We Love and break free of the harmful imprints of the past. You'll find insightful questions to help you and your spouse pinpoint barriers to intimacy, efffective techniques to kickstart the process of lasting change and more. |
Thanks to all of you for your support.
Copyright © 2007 Milan and Kay Yerkovich
Marriage / How We Love Newsletter November 2007.doc