Volume 62 February 21, 2008
Marriage. Divorce and Remarriage
(First in a series)
We receive so many calls and questions about what are the rules for getting in and out of a marriage relationship.
Just today we had 2 calls on New Life Live Radio about the subject and here is a line from an e-mail received today.
“In 2001… I went to an Elder at our church to find out how to divorce ‘the right way.’”
What does the Bible say?
Did Jesus speak on the topic?
For the next few weeks we will be looking at what the New Testament says about this controversial topic.
INTRODUCTION:
Marriage, divorce and re-marriage are areas of great concern within the church of Jesus Christ.
Within churches and Christian organizations, much has been said and debated and various views held.
All of us are affected either directly or indirectly by the high divorce rate that plagues America.
Divorce causes us to hurt as well as cause pain in others that can last a lifetime.
The Bible says much about how a person can have success in all areas of his or her life and how interpersonal relationships can yield blessings instead of pain.
Yet, Biblical truth is being clouded & challenged in the area of marriage, divorce and re-marriage because we live in a relativistic world.
The purpose of this brief paper is limited to that of discussing the high standard with which the Bible views the institution of marriage and then to discuss God’s allowances for divorce and subsequent remarriage.
MARRIAGE:
Marriage is one of the highest and holiest of all God designed institutions.
This is true for at least two reasons.
First, God gave special attention to the creation of male and female so that man would not have to live alone, which he said was “not good (Genesis 2:18).”
He then commanded “For this cause a man shall leave (rupture, sever, tear apart) his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).”
The Hebrew word used in the text for “cleave” is the dabeq which means to stick, as things that are glued together.”
Thus, permanent monogamous heterosexual union has been the Biblical plan from the beginning of creation.
Jesus Christ further comments on this Genesis passage by stating, “consequently they are no more two, but one flesh. What God has joined together, let no man separate (Matthew 19:6).”
The New Testament Greek word for “joined together” in the preceding verse means to “yoke together or unite.” 2
It carries the idea of two animals laboring in a field together in unity because of their being yoked to the same farming implement.
Grammatically, God is the subject of the sentence and it is God who does the yoking together.
In stark contrast, we are commanded that “no man” is to divide or separate the two that have been yoked together as one flesh by God Himself.
This command to “not separate” would obviously apply to the husband or wife who are yoked together and could perhaps be wishing to divorce each other.
God invented marriage and those who participate in God’s invention of marriage are thus “joined together” in the eyes of God.
His rules regarding the successful maintenance or the dissolution of the marriage therefore apply.
The second reason why marriage is so high and holy in God’s value system is that it is to be a living illustration of the relationship between Jesus Christ and His redeemed people, the Church.
“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the Church, He Himself being the savior of the body. But as the Church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her; that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the Church in all her glory, having not spot of wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless (Ephesians 5: 22-27, N.A.S.B.)”
The picture of Christ and the Church portrays absolute love, fidelity, trust and devotion that is unbreakable.
What comfort and trust this affords the church.
This security and trust is to be the model for the Christian marriage with each of the partners following his or her role.
Because the Christian’s relationship to Christ is unshakable, the marriage relationship is to be unshakable also.
Paul like Jesus, refers back to the book of Genesis to draw attention to God’s plan of permanent, heterosexual, monogamous marriage, “For this cause a man shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh (Ephesians 5:31).”
We hope this begins to set the stage for such an important topic.
NEWS ALERT: Kay and I will be in Santa Rosa, CA this weekend at the Redwood Covenant Church, for a How We Love Workshop. It will be all day Saturday, February 23, 2008 from 8:00 – 4 PM. If you are in the Bay area, join us! See details below for registration information. Hope to see you!
Love and blessings,
Milan & Kay
NEXT WEEK: “Why then is there such a thing as divorce?”
SPREAD THE WORD:
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How We Love - Seminar on DVD Coming SOON!! Have you ever wanted to actually go to one of Milan and Kay's "How We Love" seminars, and experience what everybody is talking about? Many of you have asked "Milan and Kay, when are you going to be giving a seminar in MY AREA???" While we would love to have the opportunity to meet each and every one of you and for you to learn some valuable relationship skills at our seminars....it is physically IMPOSSIBLE for us to give seminars in every city in the U.S. and the rest of the world!! So...for those people who would be interested in seeing exactly what happens at one of our seminars, and learn the skills that you need to improve your valuable relationships...we are working on the next best thing to being there in person with us. Thats right!!! We will be coming out with a video of one of our recent seminars!! Find out the ROOT of your relationship problems!! Discover your "Imprint of Intimacy" Learn your "Love Style" "Explore your martial "Core Pattern" Check your email inbox for a special announcement on how you can learn directly from Milan and Kay on this outstanding DVD set. P.S. - You will be nicely surprised by the bonus items that we have added to this DVD set!! |
Now the Life Changing Book "How We Love" is in PAPERBACK!!!
And....the Book and Workbook are Combined into ONE!!!
Learn more About the NEW Combination Book/Workbook below:
How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
How We Love More Fully - NOW AVAILABLE IN CD FORMAT Now you can experience this inspiring sermon on CD with Milan's study notes printed for your convenience - we will ship it to you or someone you think could benefit from this incredible audio.
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Do you need to be motivated to love more fully? Would you like to be inspired to take some steps to improve your relationships? I’d love to share two sermons with you called How to Love More Fully. I’ve gotten some positive feedback from the people who heard these seven important points and I want to inspire you to deepen your relationships. I’ll include my study notes so you can follow along. Use the following link to learn more: Use This Link To Find Out How to Love More Fully Blessings, Milan |
Would You Like To Keep Your Family Safe Online?
We want to encourage all our friends to keep the computer a safe place for kids and teens and spouses.
As counselors we are alarmed at the rising use of pornography with the easy availability of on-line sites.
We think BSafe is a good way to minimize the risks of the internet..
Right now is a really good time to look into how BSafe can help you keep your loved ones safe, because they are offering a 10 day offer to evaulate the product.
Please use the following link to see how BSafe can help you save your family from unsafe sites on the internet.
WANT TO BE PART OF OUR NEXT BOOK?
To help us and receive your gift please use this link: How We Love Sexually - Survey
(Make sure that you answer ALL of the questions - if you do not see the "Thank You" page after clicking the button
review your questions - you have probably not answered one or more)
Thanks
Milan and Kay
SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS:
February 23, 2008
How We Love workshop
8:30 AM – 4:30 PM
Redwood Covenant Church (Co-sponsored by Sonoma Church of Christ)
3175 Sebastopol Road
Santa Rosa, CA 95407
Registration and Information: (707) 526 5940 x 3504 or www.redwoodcovenant.org.
February 27 – March 13, 2008
Women of the Harvest
Women’s Missionary Retreat (Kay)
Zagreb, Croatia
April 18 – 19, 2008
7:00 – 9:00 PM Friday night Part 1
9:00 AM – 4 PM Saturday Part 2
How We Love Workshop (Milan & Kay)
Tree of Life, Lord’s Harvest Christian Church
4140 Peralta Blvd.
Fremont, CA 94536
Registration & information: Angelina at church office (510) 739-6133
April 20, 2008
9:00 AM – 10:30 AM Questions and Answers from Milan and Kay
10:30 AM- 12:00 PM Milan to preach at church service.
Tree of Life, Lord’s Harvest Christian Church
4140 Peralta Blvd.
Fremont, CA 94536
Registration & information: (510) 739-6133
April 26, 2008
8:30 AM – 12:00 PM
Childbirth Education Association, Orange County Chapter
“Nurturing the Couple Connection in the Postpartum Period” (Milan & Kay)
Embassy Suites, Anaheim – South
11767 Harbor Boulevard
Garden Grove, CA 92840
Costs & Information: Rosemary (714) 639-5772 and / or www.ceaorangecounty.com
(Parents and parents-to-be are welcome to attend but must register.)
May 7, 14, 21, 28, 2008
7:00 – 9:00 PM
A Four Week How We Love Workshop (Milan & Kay)
Rock Harbor University @ Rock Harbor Church
3080 Airway Ave.
Costa Mesa, CA 92626
Meeting Room: “The Lab” (Do we have to wear protective eyewear?).
Registration begins mid to late April at www.rhuonline.org
Church phone: (714) 384-0914
May 23 – 25, 2008
7:00 – 10:00 PM Friday
All day Saturday
8:00 AM – 12:00 PM Sunday
How We Love Workshop (Milan & Kay)
Hosted by Lighthouse Christian Center, Puyallup, Washington
Venue location: Best Western Wesley Inn
6575 Kimball Drive
Gig harbor, WA 98335
Registration & Information: (253) 848-2028 and / or www.lighthousehome.org
Note: While this is a church couples retreat, individuals and couples who are not staying at the hotel may attend the teaching sessions. Registration is still required.
RADIO APPEARANCES (Subject to change): New Life Ministries Radio, Los Angeles area, KKLA 99.5 FM, 2 PM daily Mon – Fri. Check www.newlife.com for nationwide listing of radio stations and times in your area as well as daily hosts.
Dec 21, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 31 and Jan 11
Go to www.relationship180.com for details.
If this newsletter has helped you, perhaps it can also help others. Please let your friends, family and others know that they too can get the help they need by signing up for this newsletter at: www.howwelove.com
Understanding your relationships is probably one of the MOST important tasks that you can do to improve your life.
To help you understand your relationships we have written the book :
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How We Love: A Revolutionary Approach to Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan & Kay Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you identify negative responses learned in childhood that sabotage your relationships, creating invisible barriers to love. you'll find practical solutions and groundbreaking principles that equip you to identify the love styles disrupting your marriage, recognize the core pattersn in your relationship, develop a specific plan for change, enhance your sexual intimacy and more, to create a deeper, richer marriage. |
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How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Every adult bears an "imprint of intimacy"-an inner sense of how much emtional vulnerability they can risk based on childhood experiences. those past lessons shape the behaviors, beliefs and expectations of all our current reltionships, especially marriage. This powerful companion workbook-perfect for use on your own or in a group setting-will help you apply the principles from How We Love and break free of the harmful imprints of the past. You'll find insightful questions to help you and your spouse pinpoint barriers to intimacy, efffective techniques to kickstart the process of lasting change and more. |
Thanks to all of you for your support.
Copyright © 2008 Milan and Kay Yerkovich
Marriage / How We Love Newsletter February 21, 2008