Volume 79                                                                                                                        June 19, 2008

Travels in Proverbs - Week Two

Milan's surgery was a SUCCESS!!! Read all about it at: Milan's Surgery Update

During the next four weeks, we are going to focus on four great verses out of the book of Proverbs. 

One verse per week. 

Many verses in Proverbs are tid-bits of wisdom; “reminders” or “perspective setters” nudging us to move out of our compliancy and bad habits. 

When Is The Last Time You Asked a Good Question  ?

Proverbs 18:  A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinions.

Milan and I are always amazed at how few people are good listeners. 

Have you ever met a new person and listened to a monologue of their life, opinions, interests, and stories. 

On and on they go and at the end of an hour you have not been asked a single question.

I went with Milan yesterday up to UCLA.  He had an appointment to give blood before his surgery.  We entered the waiting room and there was a counter with juices, coffee, teas and cookies which were provided for the blood donors after they made their offering.  A volunteer sat next to the treats.  Apparently it was her job to hand them out and most people entering the room gravitated toward the goodies and sat on that side of the room. 

This dark haired assistant was a very intelligent, VERY extroverted woman who offered a magazine to newcomers and as soon as they settled in to reading, she interrupted anyone sitting near her and launched into some subject that clearly revealed how well read she was and what a great vocabulary she had.  Her listeners (she roped in five in the 45 minutes I waited) all said the same things… “Oh really?”  “That’s interesting.” “I didn’t know that.”  “Uhh Huh.”   Never once did she ask a question or try to find out what her listeners thought or what interested them.  I assessed the length of her rope and moved across the waiting rooms past her lasso range so I could continue reading a great article I was enjoying.  

How well do you seek to understand? 

You cannot do it without learning to ask some good questions. 

Now questions can have a good or bad connotation to you depending on the home you grew up in. 

Think about what questions meant in your family. 

Were they about understand and clarifying? 

Were they entrapping? 

Were they leading? 

Did they mean you were in trouble? 

If questions most often had a negative slant and made you feel uneasy, you might be reactive when you are asked a question, or perhaps you refrain from asking others questions. 

What we are after here is learning to ask good questions that take an interest in others and help someone feel valuable and worth listening too. 

Try a few of these.

What was the best part of your day?

What was the most boring part of your day?

What was the best thing that happened in your day?

If you could be greatly accomplished or skilled at one thing what would it be?

Who was your favorite teacher and what about he or she made them your favorite?

You get the point.  Find out more.  Learn to ask great questions. 

Love and blessings,

Kay

PS: If you live in Southern California, join us every Monday night at Coast Hills Community Church as we teach on relationships from 7:00 – 8:30 PM..  Milan and Kay will return on Monday July 07, 2008.

• Check out some of our new products available as CD’s or DVD’s at: www.howwelove.com/shop

Next Week: More Travels in Proverbs

NEWS ALERT: 

MONDAY NIGHT RELATIONSHIP BUILDING:

Our Monday Night Relationship Building Series continues to attract more and more people.

Last Monday we covered "More Love Style Combinations" and what you can do when your relationship is caught up in one of these combinations. We also started the Comfort Circle which is the universal antidote for healing of all of the love style injuries. To learn more about Love Style Combinations and the Comfort Circle please follow the link below:

Monday Night Relationship Building CDs and DVD's and Downloads

This continuing 10 week program is designed to help people just like you to make the most out of their valuable relationships with others. We look forward to seeing you all next Monday night. Don't be shy about bringing your friends along for the ride.

If you cannot make it to these Monday night events in California you can still have the opportunity to see and hear what you missed. We videotaped the Relationship Building Series and now have it available on our web site. So if you cant' make it to these invaluable Monday Night Sessions you don't have to worry about missing out. Please look at the following link to find out how you can listen to and or see what you missed. We only have a limited number of these DVD's and CD's available, get yours before they are gone.

THE MONDAY NIGHT RELATIONSHIP BUILDING SESSIONS ARE NOW AVAILABLE TO BE DOWNLOADED - No waiting - Listen immediately on your IPOD or MP3 Player.

Follow the link below to find out more information and select the session that you would like to learn more about.

Monday Night Relationship Building CDs and DVD's and Downloads

SPREAD THE WORD:

If you enjoyed our newsletter, would you please forward it to your e-mail list or send a memo out encouraging them to sign up for our weekly newsletters?  Thanks.

Now the Life Changing Book "How We Love" is in PAPERBACK!!!

And....the Book and Workbook are Combined into ONE!!!

Learn more About the NEW Combination Book/Workbook below:

How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage

SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS:

RADIO APPEARANCES (Subject to change): New Life Ministries Radio, Los Angeles area, KKLA 99.5 FM, 2 PM daily Mon – Fri.  Check www.newlife.com for nationwide listing of radio stations and times in your area as well as daily hosts.

Go to www.relationship180.com for details.

If this newsletter has helped you, perhaps it can also help others. Please let your friends, family and others know that they too can get the help they need by signing up for this newsletter at: www.howwelove.com

Understanding your relationships is probably one of the MOST important tasks that you can do to improve your life.

To help you understand your relationships we have written the book :  

How We Love: A Revolutionary Approach to Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan & Kay Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you identify negative responses learned in childhood that sabotage your relationships, creating invisible barriers to love. you'll find practical solutions and groundbreaking principles that equip you to identify the love styles disrupting your marriage, recognize the core pattern in your relationship, develop a specific plan for change, enhance your sexual intimacy and more, to create a deeper, richer marriage.

How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Every adult bears an "imprint of intimacy"-an inner sense of how much emotional vulnerability they can risk based on childhood experiences. those past lessons shape the behaviors, beliefs and expectations of all our current relationships, especially marriage. This powerful companion workbook-perfect for use on your own or in a group setting-will help you apply the principles from How We Love and break free of the harmful imprints of the past. You'll find insightful questions to help you and your spouse pinpoint barriers to intimacy, effective techniques to kick start the process of lasting change and more.

Thanks to all of you for your support.

Copyright © 2008 Milan and Kay Yerkovich
Marriage / How We Love Newsletter June 19, 2008