Volume 80 June 26, 2008
Travels in Proverbs - Week Three
Milan is still in the hospital. - Read all about his progress at: Milan's Surgery Update
During the next four weeks, we are going to focus on four great verses out of the book of Proverbs.
One verse per week.
Many verses in Proverbs are tid-bits of wisdom; “reminders” or “perspective setters” nudging us to move out of our compliancy and bad habits.
The Downward Spiral of Duplicity
Proverbs 11:3
“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”
Proverbs 15: 4
“The tongue that brings healing is a free of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”
Integrity is about truthfulness, honesty and reliability.
When a person in our lives has integrity it builds trust because we have discovered over time that they tell the truth and are congruent; that is what we see on the outside is truly what is on the inside.
We can count on a person of integrity.
Integrity is a character trait valued, supported and fostered by the Holy Spirit that resides in us as Christians.
In contrast duplicity involves deceit, deception, pretense, disloyalty and betrayal.
Duplicity is often justified by blaming others.
Duplicity had it’s origins in the garden when Adam and Eve ignored God’s instructions.
The first thing they did after they sinned was to hide and cover themselves. Duplicity always involves hiding, or telling only part of the truth. When questioned by God as to their actions, the man said, “The woman you put here with me---she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” The woman said “The serpent deceived me and I ate.” (Satan is the Father of lies and the author of duplicity.)
In other words, someone else is responsible for my duplicity.
“I have to cheat on my taxes, or I can’t make ends meet.”
“I look at pornography because my wife doesn’t want sex as much as I do.”
“I flirt at the office (or have an affair) because my husband (wife) does not meet my needs.”
“What’s wrong?” ..... “Nothing”.
You get the point…there is no ownership of ones feelings, attitudes and actions.
Trust built by integrity takes years to construct.
Integrity is proven over time.
In one moment the discovery of duplicity and pretense can wreck havoc on a relationship.
Duplicity crushes the spirit of the one betrayed.
In fact, this verse in proverbs says duplicity ultimately destroys because without trust, no relationship is safe. Duplicity is a trap because the more we lie the more we have to lie to cover our lies. The truth, no matter how painful it is, sets us free.
None of us escape the trap of duplicity.
Ask yourself right now, “What are you hiding?”
What wrong actions or attitudes are you justifying through blame?
Admission is the first step to freedom.
Ownership and confession may be painful and scary, but there is no freedom without it.
Come out of hiding.
Do the right thing.
You will be free.
Love and blessings,
Kay
PS: If you live in Southern California, join us every Monday night at Coast Hills Community Church as we teach on relationships from 7:00 – 8:30 PM.. Milan and Kay will return on Monday July 07, 2008.
- Check out some of our new products available as CD’s or DVD’s at: www.howwelove.com/shop
Next Week: More Travels in Proverbs
NEWS ALERT:
MONDAY NIGHT RELATIONSHIP BUILDING:
Our Monday Night Relationship Building Series continues to attract more and more people.
Last Monday we covered "More Love Style Combinations" and what you can do when your relationship is caught up in one of these combinations. We also started the Comfort Circle which is the universal antidote for healing of all of the love style injuries. To learn more about Love Style Combinations and the Comfort Circle please follow the link below:
Monday Night Relationship Building CDs and DVD's and Downloads
This continuing 10 week program is designed to help people just like you to make the most out of their valuable relationships with others. We look forward to seeing you all next Monday night. Don't be shy about bringing your friends along for the ride.
If you cannot make it to these Monday night events in California you can still have the opportunity to see and hear what you missed. We videotaped the Relationship Building Series and now have it available on our web site. So if you cant' make it to these invaluable Monday Night Sessions you don't have to worry about missing out. Please look at the following link to find out how you can listen to and or see what you missed. We only have a limited number of these DVD's and CD's available, get yours before they are gone.
THE MONDAY NIGHT RELATIONSHIP BUILDING SESSIONS ARE NOW AVAILABLE TO BE DOWNLOADED - No waiting - Listen immediately on your IPOD or MP3 Player.
Follow the link below to find out more information and select the session that you would like to learn more about.
Monday Night Relationship Building CDs and DVD's and Downloads
SPREAD THE WORD:
If you enjoyed our newsletter, would you please forward it to your e-mail list or send a memo out encouraging them to sign up for our weekly newsletters? Thanks.
How We Love - Seminar on DVD is FINALLY HERE!! Have you ever wanted to actually go to one of Milan and Kay's "How We Love" seminars, and experience what everybody is talking about? Many of you have asked "Milan and Kay, when are you going to be giving a seminar in MY AREA???" While we would love to have the opportunity to meet each and every one of you and for you to learn some valuable relationship skills at our seminars....it is physically IMPOSSIBLE for us to give seminars in every city in the U.S. and the rest of the world!! So...for all of you who would be interested in seeing exactly what happens at one of our seminars, and learn the skills that you need to improve your valuable relationships...the solution is here in this incredible two day seminar recorded live in Ventura California. When you experience this DVD package you will: Find out the ROOT of your relationship problems!! Discover your "Imprint of Intimacy" Learn your "Love Style" "Explore your marital "Core Pattern" This is a complete "How We Love" LIVE SEMINAR and you will find that once you know of all of the extra bonus items included in the package that you will be excited also!! One person who attended the seminar said: "My husband and I attended your weekend "How We Love" seminar. We were absolutely energized by the experience!" The sponsor of the seminar had these kinds words to say: "Everyone loved the material presented, the emotional intensity of the conference, and your transparency as a couple. The real emotional responses from numerous couples were about how difficult things had been in their marriage and how you gave them hope. This was especially evident in the prayer requests submitted- a VERY long list of submitted requests for their marriages! One response said “we felt our marriage was over and I really think we have a chance since we can better understand the sources of our problems.” I saw one praise of an unbelieving husband who came with his wife, and she said he was positive about the church, and of the weekend, and they had talked more that weekend than in 14 years of married life! " P.S. - You will be nicely surprised by the bonus items that we have added to this DVD set!! Use the link below to find out more: Find Out More About This Inspiring DVD Package Blessings, Milan and Kay |
Now the Life Changing Book "How We Love" is in PAPERBACK!!!
And....the Book and Workbook are Combined into ONE!!!
Learn more About the NEW Combination Book/Workbook below:
How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS:
Monday Night Relationship180
with Milan & Kay Yerkovich
at Coast Hills Community Church
· Tired of arguing with your family and friends over the same old issues?
· Longing for relationships with less conflict and more intimacy?
Come join Milan and Kay Yerkovich every Monday night as they teach about turning relationships in the right direction - first with God and then with others. You will discover truths that have transformed many relationships and which will help you find your way to richer, safer relationships.
In this weekly relationship class, New Life Radio co-host Milan Yerkovich and his wife Kay, a marriage and family therapist, will be sharing principles from the Bible and their new book How We Love about life, love and relationships.
Monday night weekly meetings begin April 14, 2008
7:00 – 8:30 in the Sanctuary
no childcare provided
For additional information contact:
Relationship180 (949) 830-2846 ~ www.relationship180.com.
or
Coast Hills Community Church ~ 5 Pursuit ~ Aliso Viejo, CA 92656
(949) 362-0079 ~ www.coasthillschurch.org
RADIO APPEARANCES (Subject to change): New Life Ministries Radio, Los Angeles area, KKLA 99.5 FM, 2 PM daily Mon – Fri. Check www.newlife.com for nationwide listing of radio stations and times in your area as well as daily hosts.
Go to www.relationship180.com for details.
If this newsletter has helped you, perhaps it can also help others. Please let your friends, family and others know that they too can get the help they need by signing up for this newsletter at: www.howwelove.com
Understanding your relationships is probably one of the MOST important tasks that you can do to improve your life.
To help you understand your relationships we have written the book :
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How We Love: A Revolutionary Approach to Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan & Kay Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you identify negative responses learned in childhood that sabotage your relationships, creating invisible barriers to love. you'll find practical solutions and groundbreaking principles that equip you to identify the love styles disrupting your marriage, recognize the core pattern in your relationship, develop a specific plan for change, enhance your sexual intimacy and more, to create a deeper, richer marriage. |
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How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage By Milan Yerkovich / Random House, Inc Every adult bears an "imprint of intimacy"-an inner sense of how much emotional vulnerability they can risk based on childhood experiences. those past lessons shape the behaviors, beliefs and expectations of all our current relationships, especially marriage. This powerful companion workbook-perfect for use on your own or in a group setting-will help you apply the principles from How We Love and break free of the harmful imprints of the past. You'll find insightful questions to help you and your spouse pinpoint barriers to intimacy, effective techniques to kick start the process of lasting change and more. |
Thanks to all of you for your support.
Copyright © 2008 Milan and Kay Yerkovich
Marriage / How We Love Newsletter June 26, 2008