THE VACILLATOR Following is a list of characteristics of The Vacillator love style. Put a check mark by any statement that describes you. The more checkmarks you have in one category the more likely you are to have that love style as your primary relational approach. |
|---|
I’ve always been especially sensitive and perceptive and can tell when others are pulling away from me. I want more connection than my spouse wants and always seem to be waiting for time and attention. I feel like no one has really understood what I need. I make it obvious when I’m hurt and when no one pursues me to ask what’s wrong, I feel even more upset. Sometimes I get angry when my expectations are not met. I have difficulty being willing to reengage when I’m angry and when my spouse makes an effort, I feel it’s too little too late. I don’t like to be alone, but often feel resentful and lonely when my spouse is around. I experience internal conflict and a high level of emotional stress in relationships. At times, I find myself picking a fight and I’m not sure why. Others have said they feel like they are walking on eggshells around me.
When people hurt me long enough, I write them off. I tend to reflect more on how others have hurt me than on my own shortcomings.
|
If you identify with the Vacillator Love Style here are some resources to help you: The Love Styles and Comfort - The Vacillator Live Couples Therapy - How To Have Great Conversations |
Newsletter archives Vol. 5 - January 18, 2007 - How to vacillators handle anger? Vol. 8 - February 08, 2007- The Avoidant Husband and Pursuing Wife Vol. 12 - March 08, 2007 - Am I a Vacillator or Avoider? Vol. 18 - April 19, 2007 - Are YOU A Vacillator? Relationship Tips Vol. 33 - August 02, 2007 - Holding Time for Vacillators and Controllers Vol. 59 - January 31, 2008 - Parenting and the Love Styles - The Vacillator as a Parent Vol. 71 - April 24, 2008 - Love Styles and Boundaries - Vacillators and Boundaries
|
