THE VICTIM Following is a list of characteristics of The Victim love style. Put a check mark by any statement that describes you. The more checkmarks you have in one category the more likely you are to have that love style as your primary relational approach. |
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Growing up, I experienced a great deal of intense anger and stress from a parent or parents. I’m used to chaos and calm makes me anxious because something bad is always just around the corner. My spouse mistreats me, but I stay because it would be worse to be alone. If I spoke up more and had stronger opinions, my spouse would be even angrier. I often feel depressed, unworthy and unlovable. I don’t let myself cry, because if I started, I’d never stop. I try very hard to keep my mate happy, but it doesn’t always work. At times, I’m honestly scared of my spouse. I’m resentful and angry and sometimes take it out on the kids. I feel like I’m just “going through the motions” and I’m tired and out of energy.
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If you identify with the Victim Love Style here are some resources to help you: The Love Styles and Comfort - The Controller/Victim How Controllers/Victims Handle Anger and How They Can Be Helped
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Newsletter archives Vol. 6 - January 25, 2007 - How do controllers and victims handle anger? Vol. 19 - April 26, 2007 - Tips for Controllers and Victims Vol. 55 - January 03, 2008 - Abuse and Submission - Part 9 Feeling Worthless in Marriage Vol. 72 - May 01, 2008 - Love Styles and Boundaries - Controllers, Victims and Boundaries |
